Tagged: friends

No Entry



… …

“Rabbit Man!”

… … …rrrrgggghhh…


…damn it. I actually thought, just this once, we’d go through somewhere without this whole divergent path thing. I’m sure this can be done alone, of course, but…well, ah well. Make chips with things you can make chips with, and all. Can’t be potato all the time.

That’s that taken care of.

“So it was you.”

Of course. I’m very proud of myself. Good job. I deserve a slice of cake and I feel wonderful.

“He’s not dead, you realize?”

How can you be sure of that?

“Long story short, I know he didn’t die, per say, because he hasn’t tried to kill me yet.”

Would he do that?



But he’s your friend, wasn’t he? I’m sure I read that. Someone so talentless couldn’t possibly have been able to trick me into assuming otherwise.

“Friends are weird.”

-I think I take a left, ’cause there’s a laser trap to the right-

True. The concept is highly illogical and unnecessary as an unspoken bond between two sentient constructs. This does not explain your reasoning, however.

“You’re not far off though. I’d probably be just as happy, I think, if I lacked the capacity to understand why people become friends. It gives me a headache sometimes.”

Poor dear. I knew I liked something about you. It must be tough being demented enough to relate to others with biological functioning.



“…was that a compliment just now?”

Not really. I was simply acknowledging your success as a test subject in attempting thus far to understand the fundamental laws that govern our existence. Friendship is indeed not one of them.**


“…not if we don’t want it, I suppose.”

I still don’t understand. Please think before you continue to communicate. Take your time.

“Well, it’s like a rule, friendship. It can mean anything you want it to mean, but it always means something. That annoys me, because we can’t all just agree on what it means, so we interpret it differently and assume things will work out according to that. It works because we want it to.”


If it annoys you then why do you want it to work? It seems very inefficient. I had a few things I didn’t want, like –error-, so I deleted them. Why can’t you?


“I don’t know, honestly. It’s just how we were made. Once you feel something like that you never want it to leave, and you’ll fight for it no matter how pointless it seems or how hard you have to try to get there. No matter how much it hurt, even if you swear to the gods you’ll never try again, part of you always will.”


I feel so much better about myself after hearing that. So much more efficient. Thank-you. 


“I am kinda jealous.”


Would you consider me a friend, then, in regard to enlightening you as to futility of your genetic disposition towards establishing patterns based around familiarity and shared understanding that fall under the category dictated by an overtly romanticized given purpose?


“I’d rather not. I like this enough already. It’s easy.”

What do you believe to be so inherently difficult about friendship?


“It’s a bit of a nightmare if you don’t understand why you understand emotions and the like. It’s like using a clock to tell the time and never knowing what’s making it tick.”

You are frustrated by your inability to understand a consequence of your own nature?


“Exactly. What’s behind this one?”

It says No Entry for a reason. Please-



I do believe I understand now why he’d want to kill you.

“Does this mean we’re friends now?”



*For some reason, “oi” is the word a surprising number of us use when we want someone’s attention and we have ran well out of patience. It works on dogs too.

**Contrary to what Hiro “power of friendship beats EVERYTHING” Mashima evidently believes…

Builds character- from us to you

This is a short(ish) commentary piece from the two authors of this blog, so feel free to skip it if you’re here purely for the delicious nonsensical ramblings/action- we’re going to explain a few things that aren’t explicitly stated, such as what a Twili is, and…you are going to read this now right?


As you can see, we’re still here after 159 posts! I’m kinda surprised we’ve kept it going for this long; it started out mostly as an excuse to imagine what we’d do if we could be fictional characters, and for the most part we still try to be as true to our own thoughts as possible. If W has an opinion on something, I’m usually giving my own. That we’ve done this every month for over two years now, and used barely half the ideas we thought about from the start, is just a little bit awesome.

I’m sure it’s changed us as writers- we’re trying new things more, anyway, such as the colored text and multiple perspectives. W (to me) is steadily developing into his own character, which is cool, as I’ve never written something for so long without getting distracted. It probably shows in W’s sporadic- and often abrupt -changes. Since the beginning, I’ve struggled to decide exactly what I think he should be, which can’t be great for the reader. Thank Ned HH has us covered in terms of sheer consistency (and the ability to patiently adapt to every new incarnation of Womble I’ve thrown him these past two years).

It’s both a relief and a worry that W is now officially a Twili. I can’t change that now without distorting my own idea of what a Twili is, which would mean screwing with my favorite videogame franchise of all time (The Legend of Zelda). It’d be like HH changing the definition of something intrinsically Whovian; as infinite as the universe may well be, there’s little chance that is ever going to happen! But I do love tinkering. That’s pretty much one of the reasons why we started writing this blog…

To clarify, I’m borrowing the Twili race from Nintendo’s The Legend of Zelda series, specifically The Twilight Princess. That game introduced the Twili, a race of cursed outsiders who invade the land of Hyrule and cover the land in perpetual twilight. Their princess Midna, a capricious little imp with cracking dialogue and a multitude of cool powers, is one of gaming’s finest characters- acerbic, bossy, and the most perfect foil to the series’ silent protagonist yet. I’ve always wanted to know what happens to her after the game’s ending, and this blog is a fine excuse to muse openly about it. It’s rather unfortunate that the Twili race happen to (somewhat suspiciously…) resemble vampires, considering the name, but to hell with it.

As the characters have grown, I’ve also found it tricky deciding when or when not to be serious. Life isn’t always fun and games; in terms of being semi-autobiographical, occasionally I wonder if I should reflect that more in W’s posts by exploring a potentially grim past. On the other hand, this blog is meant to be fun. If HH is the thinker, W is the clown, so maybe it’s for the best that I can’t decide how to convey a more emotional side. So long as we stay inspired, we’ve got all the time in the world to find out.


I got the role of Thinker – Ned help us all. Womble has just admitted that for all to see, which concerns a man who doesn’t believe swans can fly. I don’t doubt their ability, I’ve just never seen them doing it. They’re a bit like ghosts in that respect. I’ve yet to witness one, but the instant some ethereal phantom wrapped in chains approaches the foot of my bed, I’m happy to throw my hands up and admit I was wrong. I end up doing that quite a lot – much like I continuously end up going off on tangents. I’ll do my best to stay on target, here.

So, Womble decided on a solid idea for his back story. I can’t say I mind, either way. Having him reinvent himself every now and then, he was behaving slightly more like a regenerating Timelord than my long coat clad self. (To those interested, yes I do own a long coat and it’s my intention to bring them back into every day fashion. A plan which is half working because now whenever I see somebody else wearing one I either want to shake their hand or tell them to get off my turf.)

There’s not much to say beyond HH being a Timelord. Most people have watched Doctor Who or know enough about it. Even if they haven’t, they’ve probably picked up the general Gallifrey vibe from my created chronic complainer. I’m not entirely sure why I made HH so pessimistic because I don’t consider myself to be. To say I use HH as a conduit to flood with all my negativity would be unkind, untrue and incredibly over dramatic. Besides, that’s why I play Grand Theft Auto.

No, HH isn’t my way of emotional release. We do share similar ideas and opinions, but he’s far too downcast to be a true reflection. I just consider that someone who’s been alive as long as he has, over a millennium alive ladies and gentlemen, would have a reason to grumble. But I won’t deny that the blog is a form of escapism for me, like most writers. We construct these written worlds because the real one just isn’t enough sometimes. No-one hates reality more than an artist. I wish I could travel through space and time, seeing all there is to see and – beware the God Complex – be considered a hero. I feel that a lot of us would like to be thought of as a hero, even if we don’t admit it. Others want to be villains. I would, I can even do a convincingly deep voice, but can never take myself that seriously. I’m the one who wants to stand in the way, making up quips. Thus, HH does it all the time.

Plus, taking into account our adventure through Rapture, most of you may have deduced we are shameless fanboys. ‘Escapism’ doesn’t really cover it when we could go literally anywhere. Everything’s in one parallel universe, after all.

Like Womble, this is also the longest writing project I’ve ever partaken in – spanning a good two years, no less. Nothing I’ve written before or since has lasted this long.  I tend to enjoy writing beginnings because you can literally go anywhere with it, but then get bored when I have to concentrate on a focused narrative. How I managed to create a backstory for a man with 13 faces still surprises me. HH has come a long way since he crashed onto Brighton pier and gave a bag of chips to a mysterious man. And I like to think he’s got an even longer way to go. We’ve yet to meet any Daleks, after all. And I call him a Timelord.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say the world needs HH & W, but I think I need them. Everyone needs an outlet of some kind. We just happened to pick a big one.

A whole damn universe to play with.


Somewhere in time