The City Thief

Funny what you read on the news some days. I didn’t even know there was one, until this morning- “the news”, that is. Blame the internet. It’s simple, free, and Ned knows it gets everywhere. Even cyberspace couldn’t contain wireless networking. The very thought of that depresses me, somehow. Perez Hilton could be anywhere.

But it has its uses, the internet. It always helps to be able to see what’s going on, or someone else’s idea of what’s going on, if only to be mildly amused during the more pointless episodes of Lost.

90% of it is stuff you feel someone else is better equipped to deal with. There’s no point in entering a warzone containing two sides that will both want to forcefully interrogate you about you being there, regardless of whether you have an actual solution or not- it all gets too fiddly.

Save the enemy leader from an assassination on one side and you might be sentencing everyone to a very painful upcoming future, because it turns out that the “bad guys” were actually misunderstood revolutionaries with a terribly inept PR team. Or you might not. It might not even matter- but it just as easily might. I asked HH about this and he gave me a shrug. So I stick with reading the news.

Sometimes, though, you simply can’t stop mindless curiosity from taking hold. Today I happened to read that, according to the Lunar Peep, someone has been stealing cities- and no one knows where they end up next.

I’m not an expert on architecture, by any means, which might explain why I find this so darn fascinating. I wonder how it happens. By the looks of it, they literally take the entire landscape containing a city and remove it. All that’s usually left is a gigantic crater and some very confused pigeons. Everyone who was in that city is also gone. They’re calling it genocide, because you tend to assume the worst when billions of people vanish in one night. And it’s got me thinking. Suddenly, I really, really want to get involved.

HH said we could go anywhere, so that’s that. It’s not like we have anything better to do right now- well, besides finding out who invented Russell Crowe. But that can wait.

According to the Minted Watchdog, the thief has been targeting places associated with famous rich people, like El’ Morellistadt and Chicago*. I’m gonna shoot for the obvious; somewhere they can afford to have supervillains**.

Good luck, city thief- Detective Womble is on the case!

…working solo, mind. I’d love to have HH in on this, but as soon as I told him we were heading to Gotham he sort of…freaked out…and started looking for his “gifts”. He’s clearly got it in for someone over there…

…I wonder if I’ll get a hint, what with it being my first time and all…


*Previously owned by one Aiden Pearce, who had the ingenious idea of hacking everything that moves until he had more money than any sense of logic can possibly account for.

**You know you’ve made it as a city when you can afford to have various parts blown up, or otherwise sabotaged, on practically a weekly basis by the latest scheme hatched by a recurring assortment of well-known bad guys. Heroes, villains, comic-book writers and construction companies all keep the show running on greased wheels for the good of public entertainment. In some places they even have rotas.


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