Fairytale of New Quark

3 Tips for a Normal Christmas
1. Don’t start it locked in an entirely different plane of existence
2. Don’t then be slapped back into reality by your penguin-formed friend
3. Really don’t thank him by visiting a bunch of dancing penguins and justify it by saying “I thought you’d know them!”

Happy Feet? Furious Friend. Next time I’ll see if Pingu’s free…

Womble gave me a copy of his Christmas List earlier; apparently believing that I know the Father of Christmas personally. For the record, I do*, but Womble’s got a murderous Look to him – ready for me or Saint Nick, I’m not willing to risk – so I’d better act to the contrary.

I don’t think I need a list myself; most things can be found in some space and time, not to mention that Mr Claus** got sick of TARDIS-chasing after me every twenty-fifth of December. But I’m gonna find something for Womble, because that’s what you do on this side of the Silent Treatment.

Plus he and I don’t tend to do gifts. He tried to give me a guinea pig once. I never did ask why. That’s just how he and I work, I guess.

Anyway, some seasonal conformity! I wish a very Happy Christmas to all. We shall raise a Time-Twister-Elixir and Sasquatch Pill to you. You’d be welcome to join us, just turn off your sanity first.

HH

*Tired, obsessed with nougat and owns multiple photo albums of favourite chimneys.

**Mr Sandy Claws has more nicknames than me.

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