Wandering and Rambling



“What’s the matter with your head, yeah-eh?”

Okay, so I’m the sort of guy who’s easily distracted; a favourite song coming on turns my head and I can lose hours to the sudden appearance of a bookshop. So you can imagine how often it becomes difficult for me to get anywhere inside a literally endless universe FULL of distractions. I know I’m supposed to be looking for Womble. And I am. It just so happens that along the way I have also seen Guardians of the Galaxy six times in the cinema*, been ice skating on Hoth, started a new band, gone solo from said band, invented (and drunk a lot of) a new alcoholic cocktail, visited 29 theme parks and launched a few ships. All that combined is about a tenth of the list of stuff done since leaving Gallifrey and the Black Diamond. But hey, I haven’t felt this good in centuries.

“Come and get your love! Come and get your luh-uh-urve!”

Amidst all that I’ve done many a jiving lap of the TARDIS console to this utterly addictive mesmeriser of songs. Yeah a guy dancing alone, not cool. Yet I’d bet all royalties from my invented cocktail – the ‘Time-Twister-Elixir” since you didn’t and can’t ask – that I could get Womble to join in if he were here. Especially if I knocked up a few more T-T-Es. But. I just don’t know where the resourceful devil has gotten to. So…


“It’s your business, if you want some, take some. Get it together, baby.”

The song speaks sense, HH. Get it together. Find Womble.

And where, oh Mr Boring Internal Voice of Reason, often known as Conscience, do you intend I start in the aforementioned literally endless distracting vastness of Creation?


Shut up console, you’re interrupting a good eighties vibe……or rather you would be, if the beeping weren’t coming from FutureHH’s wrist device gift. Ned, if what he said were true, and Womble does indeed name this thing, I need him now more than ever. Well, that’s not strictly true. I did need him a lot on Mars…and when Chompy came about…you get the point.

Anyway, what do you want, little NameInProgress?

…there’s a little selection here labeled “Call Womble?” Sure it plays the Psychic part rather well, but then it would, when it’s programmed from someone from the future. Don’t you just LOVE time travel? Speaking of which, where did I put my latest Elixir? I think I got the measurements wrong this time – easily done when I’ve had this many – but I can really taste the pickled Dalek.

Now, yes, Call Womble. Smashing idea HHYetToCome. *click*

Oop, crap, better mute the song otherwise Womble will think…well, something anyway, I’m not the one to be held responsible for how his mind works. Nor can he, sometimes.

…come and get your love, come and get your love n

I’m through.

“Er…” Smooth, HH, like gone off vermouth. “Well, Womble, if you can hear this, yes I am drunk but don’t let that get in the way of anything. If you’d like to join me for a nightcap, meet me at Dinkin’ Donuts, Earth, New New York, year 3010. I’ll buy the first round. Hope to see you -hic- there. Ciao. ” -BEEP-

What’s that say? All letters are in the same font right now: Double Visioned. “Method of Delivery.” Let’s see…tick box choices and everything…Letter, Scroll, Tablet, Carving, Carrier Pigeon, Sky Writing, Telepathy, Courier, Amazon delivery, email, graffiti…and on it goes. In hundreds of years and my sense of humour just doesn’t change. Excellent.

Right, let’s go with Telepathy, carrier pigeon, bribed monkeys (who knew?) and Amazon, because they are just EVERYWHERE these days.

And now, to head for the world of Futurama, and hopefully I shall find my friend. I imagine our reunion will be quite a shock on his end, I look like the poster boy for AA applicants.

Still, where was I? Oh yes…

-now. Come and get your love, come and get your love, come and get your love now!


*I’m not even joking. That make you laugh, Womble? Or roll your eyes, at least? I’m betting so.


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