These corpses should not look so appetising.

Progress has been slow. Ten minutes just to crawl my way out of A&E, giving me just twenty more to enjoy a non cannibalistic lifestyle. And it hurts, it hurts so bad. Every inch of my skin is trying to come off, my blood feels like pure lava and my skull is now three sizes too small.

And on the subject of my head, I’ve gained a new voice. HH’s Brain: a nice little Bed and Breakfast. First Rapture’s locals and now…well…I call him Chompy. And in about eighteen minutes, the internal war between HH and Ch will end, he gets my brain and will probably want to eat it. Every minute goes by, he gets a bit louder.

Look, that one there, on the bed. Take an arm, a leg, ANYTHING!

Chompy has been busy; his mental influences mean both my TARDIS key and my sonic are out of use for communication.

…or an ear, they’re like soft rolls, often good and chewy.

“Things look bleak” is a gross understatement. I need nothing short of a miracle right now.

Gotta love that cartilage, get it fast before it rots…Hey, it’s a big ‘un!


…what kind of deity would call that thing a miracle? It’s like a HP Lovecraft nightmare went through a blender.

I bet he’s eaten a few people. Go on, have a munch, it’ll be like a steak squared.

Oh man, how long has it been? Thirty minutes she said. There can’t be more than ten left.

…is that Womble I can hear? I swear that was a well oiled click of a crossbow.

Bite him, dammit, bite him! Have a chomp, have a chew, just get yourself some damn


Okay, he’s found the speech centre. Chompy, can I at least have a minute to get my point across to Womble?

Who’s Womble? Who’s…wow, there’s a lot on him in here. Couldn’t have picked a skinnier friend, could you? You’d best hope his giblets are worth my time.

Chompy, please, I just need a minute here.

I just need a second. Quick flash, one bite, a thick neck chunk and some jugular in there too. Tonight, HH, your friends are the main course.

To Hell with that. B-Movie monster or not, I’m going in.

…right, didn’t know standing up would be that difficult. Work with the pain, HH, here we go.

“Heads up, Womble, I’m coming…to feast on your skin!”



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